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Twinbrook Baptist Church Rockville, MD Ordinary Time October 07, 2007 Pastor: Kip Ingram Kip@TwinbrookBaptist.com |
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Call To Worship: -Samuel Ullman Youth Reflections (Callie Ingram): I was asked to offer some reflections on youth and the journey to adulthood, so I will address this by giving you a list of 5 things that I want you to know about teenagers. 1). I'm going to assume that you all know that being a teenager is hard. You have to face crushes and breakups and standardized testing and still are regarded as thieves in any dollar store you enter! But right now, in this day and age, you also have to deal with hair straighteners and internet predators and your cell phone going off in class. It can get pretty difficult, so think back on your youth and try and understand where we're coming from when we complain. 2). We actually love our families. Of course we're going to speed ahead of you when we go out in public. Hanging out with your parents is totally uncool, but we really do know how important our families are. All of your sacrifices and efforts have been noticed and appreciated, and we thank you. 3). We are currently in the process of becoming the person that we will be for the rest of our lives. There is nothing for us to do but make mistakes. It's how we learn. Please try to be patient with us when we do something wrong. We still have a lot of growing to do. 4). We care. We care a lot. We haven't forgotten about the war in Iraq and the situation in Darfur or the position that the Jena 6 are in. We my school had a blood drive this past week, there were so many students signed up that they couldn't even get to all of them. We aren't apathetic. Our age restricts us from voting but not from paying attention and definitely not from caring . . . 5). I made this list of things adults should know about teenagers, but we really aren't that different from our elders. We all struggle through daily nuisances together. We all enjoy each other's company at the end of the day. We all come to church weekly to renew ourselves and leave with a sense of purpose. We are one and the same, sharing the youthful joy of living and loving as we grow older year by year. I want to end my reflection by reminding you of the ”Call to Worship” (written above). It is a quote that I think signifies the lack of difference between teenagers and adults. Thank you. Pastor's Reflections: "Healthy Teenagers Crossing Over" Several years ago, I was looking through an issue of ”Cosmo Girl.” I am not a regular reader of this magazine but one article caught my eye. It was about the Osbourne family which at the time was living out its daily life as an MTV reality show. In talking about the teenaged daughter it said: ”Kelly Osbourne, 17, is our favorite TV character. Fifty percent sugar and 50 percent spice, this girl will secretly get a tattoo-and then 'fess up to her parents about it. She'll swear like a sailor at her brother Jack-but then quickly stick up for him when her parents threaten to punish him. But what we love most about her is, she's not a character at all. This girl is 100 percent real.”i People tuned in every week to watch Kelly and her famous family living their lives in front of cameras. When Kelly shows up for lunch with the interviewer, her fingernails are manicured perfectly in pink, yet on closer inspection they have small skulls on them. She is dressed in girly Mary Janes, yet plops down like a tomboy with one foot propped up. She criticizes the stylish sunglasses of the busboys while she is unwilling to send her botched meal back because she doesn't want to make the waiter feel bad. Any neutral onlooker would surely see that she is a mess of contradictions: tough and sensitive, assertive and fearful, secretive and outspoken. And while her personality is probably more intense than many teenagers, the underlying tensions in her life are not. If we were going to define what a teenager is, we could start by saying that a teenager is a mess of contradictions! There is some truth in this, because the teenage years are a time of new and often conflicting impulses. This is what makes them pretty intense and memorable for all of us. They function, hopefully, as a transition time between childhood and adulthood, a kind of crossing over. When brings us to our story from the Exodus, in which Moses is leading the people of Israel out of Egypt and into the promise of something better. I want to invite you to see in this Exodus story a kind of transition, or crossing over, for the people of God. They are leaving their childhood in Egypt and crossing over to a new period of their life as a people. In a sense, God is the parent, and through the Exodus Israel is entering a period of adolescence, a new time of life. As we think of this ”adolescent” time for the people of Israel, and as we think about the challenge of the teenage years today, there are some insightful analogies which arise to help us understand some important truths about healthy teens. First, healthy teens experience a new sense of freedom. In the context of our Exodus story, this is what we see happening with the people of God. They are experiencing a new possibility for freedom beyond the oppression of Egypt. In terms of being a teenager, there is nothing quite like the rush of freedom one feels. It often comes in the form of the many ”firsts” you experience as a teen-the first overnight with friends, first date, first kiss, first time to drive, first bank account, first job, first temptations. I well remember my first car. It was a 1971 Chevy Impala, with peeling paint and a fading vinyl top. I was so excited and proud of that car! The first thing I did was go and get two large stereo speakers installed and a tape player. I not only wanted my music loud, I wanted people in the neighborhood to know I liked it that way! It was a first for me. The teenage years are an opportunity to cross over into a new land of opportunity and freedom. You are entrusted with more and more of your own time and decisions Second, healthy teens deal with new fears and reactions. In the context of the Exodus story, we see these fears as the people of God are tempted to ”go back” to an earlier time. Reactions to a new birth of freedom can bring new fears. The old ways back in Egypt can seem appealing and comfortable and safe. Standing on the banks of the sea, the Israelites were terrified of their new freedom and complained to Moses, asking, ”Is this why you brought us out here, to die?” In fear, they wanted to go back to Egypt, where they wouldn't have freedom anymore, but at least they would be safe. For teens, it was alright when parents and teachers took care of so much, but now you are out there. Asking: ”Will I be liked and accepted? What if I don't measure up? What if other people laugh at me or make fun of me? What if I 'cross over' only to find that I have exposed myself in a big mistake?” Sometimes, when we see teens in grown-up bodies, that doesn't necessarily mean that they aren't wrestling with childlike fears, longing at the same time for both the security of childhood and the freedom of an adult. As caring adults, we need patience with teens, and understanding, and most of all, the willingness and determination to keep communicating with them-listening, empathizing, embracing, sharing. Third, healthy teens are working on their identity. In the context of the Exodus story, the act of crossing over and being liberated by God was something that established Israel's identity in significant ways. They would forever be known as the people of the Exodus. In a similar way, every teen takes the first tentative steps toward establishing an identity. They must answer the questions: Who am I going to be? What friends will I choose? What is my reputation going to be? How will I carry my family background? In working through this, it seems many teens find the need to rebel against the assumptions of the previous generation-in clothes, in language, in music. This is okay, for it is part of the process of sorting out who you are going to be. Fourth, healthy teens explore new initiative and responsibilities. In the context of the Exodus story, Israel summoned the courage to cross over, to believe and trust in their God-given possibilities as a new people. Today, teens also must summon the initiative to learn and embrace new responsibilities in their lives. This includes things like chores around the home, being faithful at a job, following through on extra-curricular activities at school. One of the more obvious signs of this among teens at school is the ”fake baby” which is given to some students to learn what parental responsibilities might feel like. This baby is taken home and must be cared for as if it were a living being, with a machine inside recording whether it has been adequately cared for. As teens learn to navigate new responsibilities and initiatives, parents and grandparents can becomes cheerleaders for them, offering support and encouragement. When asked by their teen, they can even become coaches with helpful advice and guidance. But what they cannot become is fixers or controllers, anxiously trying to make a teen over into their own image. This time is a dance of trust between teen and parent. The best gift we can give our teens is to be on a vital journey of faith ourselves, to live our passions for God, involved with the church, learning and growing to our last days. No words we say or covenant values we espouse will do it, for ultimately the teens are watching how we live and whether we show up. Fifth, healthy teens ask fundamental questions about life. In the context of the Exodus story, the people of Israel were led by their new found freedom to seek to understand who God was for them and who God could be in their lives. In a similar way, I want to say that teens also are led to ask big questions about God. Kenda Creasy Dean, is the professor of Youth, Church and Culture at Princeton Theological Seminary. Listen to some recent remarks of hers: ”At precisely that juncture in the life cycle when young people develop the ability to contemplate the big questions, just when they gain the reflective skills to realize that they could live or they could die, and they don't want to live or die for nothing, at precisely that point when young people are trying on gods like blue jeans, we give them pizza. If it ever mattered that we not trivialize God with young people, it matters now. . . . What I want to know is this: if the Simpsons can ask big theological questions on Fox TV on Sunday nights, then why can't the church? Homer, while overseeing construction of a church, says ”I don't know much about God, but I have to say that we've built him a pretty nice cage.” And Ned Flanders, the Simpson's next door neighbor, brings the manger scene in from his yard during a winter storm because 'if the Baby Jesus got loose, he could really do some damage.' And even Bart prays quite regularly. How come the Simpsons address theology with young people more readily than the church?” ”Dean said that a couple of years ago she did a study on moshing, which occurs at concerts when crowds of teenagers jump and bump into each other. sometimes violently, and sometimes resulting in serious injuries. Asked about getting injured one teenager replied to Dean, ”at least if you get hurt, you know something happened.” . . . Young people want to be moved to a new place. Big Enough Questions point to a God who moves us.”ii Anthony de Mello tells a wonderful parable: ”A woman dreamed she walked into a brand new shop in the marketplace, and to her surprise, found God behind the counter. 'What do you sell here?' she asked. 'Everything your heart desires,' said God. Hardly daring to believe what she was hearing, the woman decided to ask for the best things a human could wish for. 'I want peace of mind and love and happiness and wisdom and freedom from fear,' she said. Then as an afterthought, she added, 'Not just for me. For everyone on earth.' God smiled and said, 'I think you've got me wrong, my dear, we don't sell fruits here, only seeds.'”iii This is our challenge as a church when we think of the lives of our teens. We don't get the fruits delivered immediately. We are called to plant to seeds, to nurture them, to give our lives in working carefully with them. We must be a church committed to our youth. Getting an assistant youth minister is no magic pill for our youth program if we are not committed to the life of our church and the lives of our youth. We must be a seed-planting church in the lives of our teens, helping them to "cross over" to that new time in their lives, learning with them that God is with us in all the steps of our journey. i. This was the August 2002 issue of Cosmo Girl, with Kelly Osbourne on the cover. ii. This series of quotes is taken from Kenda Creasy Dean in a "Partners in Ministry" article, for which I can no longer find any date. She has also co-written a good book on youth ministry called The Godbearing Life: The Art of Soul Tending for Youth Ministry. iii. Anthony de Mello, Taking Flight, 108 |
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