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Twinbrook Baptist Church Rockville, MD Lisa Haire Memorial Service May 26, 2007 Pastor: Kip Ingram Kip@TwinbrookBaptist.com |
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We've heard some wonderful things about Lisa today, and as we've listened many of us have smiled or nodded in knowing agreement, because we have come to appreciate and love her. But how would you describe Lisa to someone who never met her? You could describe her in terms of the way our society might label and judge her. You could say she was born with physical and cognitive defects, that she was different and somehow inferior. You could say she was limited in abilities, a kind of outsider to the important happenings and challenges of life. You could say this, but it would be misleading and distorted and truly shortsighted, for Lisa's life before God and with others was something valuable, as full of joy and blessing as it was difficulties and struggles. And her place in life bears witness to something sacred. In the gospel of Luke, Jesus tells a story about a person who prepares a huge banquet and invites many people to it. When everything was prepared the servants were sent out into the community to say: "Come on in, everything's ready for you." But all those invited began to beg off and make excuses. One mentioned needing to check on property concerns, another spoke about working some new farm animals, and a third referred to family obligations. And all those invited, all those society considered people of means and good standing, all of them politely sent their regrets. When the servants reported this to the person who planned and provided the banquet, they were then told to "go out at once into the streets and lanes of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind, and the lame." In short, "make my banquet feast available to everyone, even especially those labeled as outsiders and misfits." The point of the old story is to recognize the banquet as an image of the fulness of God's blessing. A banquet is a sharing of lives with special resources and memorable moments. It is a place of welcome and learning about others and finding connections in a spirit of participation. The banquet in this story represents the fulness of God's blessing with others. Jesus tells this story, and it would have been scandalous in his day, in order to reveal the profound and radical truth that God's invitation to the banquet table is as wide as the world, even reaching out toward people society often discounts and pushes to the social margin. This is a story about who deserves and who gets a place at God's banquet. And the profound truth is: it's not about deserving. It's come as you are. Come with your life as it is and find out what God can do it with it, for every life is good and God has a place at the banquet for all. What I want to say to you all here today and to the whole world is that Lisa had and has a place at the banquet table of God. It was a place of blessing and joy where she shared with so many of us. To be sure, no one has shared the banquet of God's blessing with Lisa like her parents. John and Marge, you have loved Lisa every day of her life, from the difficult days after her birth to these last weeks leading up to her death. Each step you were there, sharing the good times and the tears, laughing together with her in silly moments and being proud of her achievements, enjoying birthdays and special dinners, and making occasional trips to the emergency room. You have had to endure what must be the hardest trial for any parent-losing a child. Yet, in your hearts, I pray you will always carry the special memories and moments that remind you Lisa was a gift and a blessing. Sherry, you too have shared the banquet of God's blessing with Lisa. As her big sister, you played with her growing up, watched over her with care, and saw her at the best and worst of times. In a sense, your life with Lisa has given you a special perspective on your vocation. Who better than Lisa's sister to sit down with the families of children with special needs? Who better than Lisa's sister to look beyond social labels and see the goodness and potential in one of those young faces? I hope the word "sister" always carries a special meaning with you, for you have a special bond of love and memories with Lisa which will stay with you always. For Lisa's friends in her home and for her extended family, you have shared everyday meals and special trips and fun times together. I hope you will always have good feelings when you remember her. At Lisa's place in the banquet of life, she always enjoyed participating with others. In church, always holding a hymnal she could not read, always echoing the words of the Lord's Prayer in her own wonderful way. In years past, she would collect Sunday School attendance and ring the bell when it was over. I've even heard that when our former pastor, John Laney, preached a little too long, Lisa would hold up her watch and point to it for him to see. All these things and more were ways for her to be a part of things. You see, we can get so obsessive about how we are being perceived and how we compare to others, so critical about ourselves and those around us. Part of Lisa's gift to us is the reminder of the blessing of just participating, of being part of a larger community, of joining our lives with others in something good and right. Her obvious delight in being with others will always serve as a reminder of the value of participation over isolation in life. After all, there can be no banquet without others. At Lisa's place in the banquet of life, she also cared about people and looked for ways to help. How many of us who knew her will ever forget her sincere words of greeting and her hug each time she saw us. After saying "hi", it was almost always followed up by "how are you doin'?" or "you alright?" And you always had the feeling that she meant it with genuine care. Lisa had a care for others that showed in her helping spirt. One of her favorite jobs was assisting at a nursing home by helping to push people in their wheelchairs, and she took great pleasure in doing that. It was a concrete way for her to show her willingness to help. But even when it wasn't a job, she would check in on people in her neighborhood and find out how they were doing, and she would ride her bike around saying "hi" to neighbors and stopping for a visit. And if that neighbor had a cookie for her or some sweet snack, well that just made it even better. Whenever we talked in church study groups about faith and life, and Lisa participated, I don't know how much she understood the particularities of such discussions. But I do know that she got something deeply right somewhere along the way in her life, because her response to each discussion was we "gotta help people." That was her theology, and she lived it. Another thing about Lisa, she maintained and even insisted on her place at the banquet of life. If there was a bulletin available, she looked for it until she got one. If there was a Sunday School book given out, she wanted her own copy. If there were roles in the Christmas pageant being given out, she eagerly stepped forward. This past year at Christmas, we invited different people up from the congregation to sing a part in "The 12 Days of Christmas," and I remember Lisa leaning forward from her spot on the first pew and waiving her arm so hard to be chosen that I thought it might fall off! Whatever was given out to others-papers or books or parts-she wanted one. I don't think she did this because she was selfish or wanted to claim all the attention. I think she did it because she wanted to remind people that she too had a place at the banquet, that she was not to be ignored or discounted, that she was somebody too. The last year or so of Lisa's life has been filled with particular health concerns. Last summer she spent a number of days in critical care, struggling with pneumonia and aided by a breathing machine. Even when she got better, it became clear that her heart as it was would put her health at risk. It was hoped that her recent heart surgery would give her a chance for better days and more time. But it wasn't to be, and over two weeks in critical care, her body slowly surrendered and finally gave up. Now, her struggles are over. She has taken her place at God's everlasting banquet. The Bible uses several different images for heaven, but that of the heavenly banquet captures the sense of joyful participation that was so meaningful to Lisa. I can only imagine she has already introduced herself around and started in with the hugs. And if there is anything given out in heaven, I bet she already has one for herself by now. She will always have an eternal place in the banquet of God, even as we treasure her place in our memory. John Claypool writes that "you can often tell a great deal about a person by observing how he or she eats. . . . [M]ore often than not, the way we eat symbolizes the way we relate to life as a whole. The way I sit down to a table of food is usually reflective of how I sit down to the table of life." Lisa enjoyed a good meal, not just because it might include her favorites like mashed potatoes and a sweet dessert, but because she could share the enjoyment with others, with her family, her friends, her community. She sat down at the table of her life as a joyful participant, and her place at the banquet table will always be our gift. i.Taken from John Claypool's sermon, "Feast or Famine-Life is How You Look at It," in The Light Within You (Waco: Word Books, 1983), 51 |
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